Fat Mam and my Robins

Soft play type places and bitches

Day 2 of Slimming World is going fine. Used my new air fryer last night for chips and although they took a while to cook, they tasted pretty nice. WW wrap corned beef pasty for breakfast and a Subway salad for lunch. Pizza and chips planned for tea (obviously using a WW wrap, I’m not mad!).

As I’m off work until Monday, I am cramming in lots of child fun activities to keep the Robins entertained. Today we are at a soft play type place, basically a cafe with loads of toys. It’s a fab place, the kids always enjoy it and they do great food (not that I am eating any of it obviously!).

The only thing that I don’t like about it is the cliques. It’s literally like school, all the cool kids who do all their cool stuff and everything goes right for them. They look down their noses at the normal parents because tantrums apparently never happen to them, explosive nappies never happen to them and their children are perfect.

It’s not just in places like this though, it’s everywhere where you have these smug pretentious people who are ignorant to anything other than perfect. The amount of times I have been nursing a screaming baby and doing my best, only to have people giving me dirty looks and tutting.

We went out for lunch a few weeks ago and the youngest Robin (who is 2) wouldn’t sit in the highchair. He had finished his meal (as had we to be honest) and we were just finishing up getting the bill etc. I let little Robin stand on the floor next to my chair to stop him from shouting, he kept smiling at the woman at the table next to us. She eventually looked down at him with pure disgust, HE IS FUCKING 2 YOU ABSOLUTE BITCH! She had two kids of her own who were obviously perfect. I get people don’t like kids (I don’t really apart from my own and a handful others) but you wouldn’t be rude like that to an adult.

My kids can be little twats from time to time but generally they are good, well behaved and I keep a close eye on them to make sure they are not disturbing other people too much or getting in to trouble. But inevitably they will occasionally be really loud and do something they shouldn’t. They are just kids after all!!!

It’s all over ……. and beginning

It’s been a while since I posted (my first resolution in 2018 will be to actually blog some!). There’s been loads going on with work and I’ve been struggling to be honest. My diet goes out the window when I am stressed I have been off the wagon for what feels like months now.

However it all starts again tomorrow, I have made a promise to myself to lose and keep off one stone. I have 4 stone at least to lose but I always make these promises to lose all the weight and never do it, so this year I am going to do it little by little. If I did lose all the weight this year, That would be amazing but I don’t want to set myself up to fail.

It’s been a great Christmas break, we are having some issues with the littlest Robin and spending so much time with him has made us see how far he is coming on without intervention. So when he does eventually get the support he needs, he should improve loads. My anxiety and depression were at an all time high before the Christmas break and I had made the decision if I didn’t feel any better by the new year, that I would seek medical help. However,I am feeling lots better so I think I just need to come up with some better ways to cope with stress and demand. I might still see the GP about some therapy or counselling but it’s not urgent at the minute. I am just pleased to be not feeling down and worried all the time, It’s a welcome break.

Anyway, I’m off work until 8th as the biggest Robin is off school so got another couple of days with my boys yet. Planning to do as much fun stuff as I can before I go back to work!

So in 2018, I plan to:

Blog more!
Lose weight (keep off a stone, then crack more off weight in 2019)
Deal with my anxiety and depression
Help littlest Robin through his challenges
Help the biggest Robin to realise his potential
Get qualified at work (I’ve been doing the job I do now a good few years but I don’t actually have my qualification, so 2018 is going to be the Year I am officially qualified to do it!)

Happy New Year!😘

Cake for tea (aka the slippery slope)

Today has not been a good day, and I’ve fucked it up totally by eating a slice of cake for my tea. I just didn’t want to eat the Bolognese bake (which we had a couple of nights ago and it was amazing) and there was left over cake on the side, I know I’ve made a bad choice and now I feel sick with a mixture of guilt and sugar overload.

It’s the littlest Robins birthday on Monday and we are going away for the week. I’ve got a mountain of stuff to do and I’m feeling really overwhelmed and stressed.

Work has been extremely stressful this week as i have alot of projects on that are nearing completion. Also I was away for a night but did two long days around it. I just wasn’t really my best so it was a struggle. In positive news though I saw Brian May in Heathrow airport, Which was super cool!!

Anyway, whatever I would have lost has now gone to pot (I know, it’s only one meal). As were away next week I’ll start again a week on Monday, I frustrate myself because I can be so good then just lose the focus when life gets hard.

I sound like such a misery so I apologise for this, I go through phases where I really hit rock bottom and it can take days to get back out of it. I know what the good advice is but can’t follow it myself!

Anyway trying end on a positive, we (me and BatDad) have made the Robins a dolls house for their birthdays. We’ll BatDad made the house and furniture, I have helped with the painting and also made the cushions and bed covers. Here’s a picture, I am very pleased with how they turned out!

Day something or other

Can’t remember what day in the dieting journey it is, I think I set myself up for a fail there by trying to identify the days when my memory is crap.

Anyway, another 2lb off this week which is good news. I was super girly swot with my diet over the weekend so deserved the loss really. Not sure what this week will bring though, I am currently in the airport waiting to catch a flight as I’m away for a couple of days with work (not as glamorous or exciting as it sounds, Just going to London!). The lunch on offer is always sarnies so I’m just going to have to be flexible really,otherwise I’ll starve (which is actually good for the diet!).

It’s mad windy up here today, I did my hair and then got to the airport and wondered what was the point as I’d been blown all over! The sky was so weird yesterday,it was like night time for most of yesterday then it came out bright sunshine, mad.

Feeling very up and down over the last few days so trying to keep on top of my emotions, I have struggles with depressive type feelings for years but have managed to control it myself. I’m hoping a week away next week will help me to feel abit better. Just so much going on, It’s hard to stop and look after yourself x

Day 9

Away from home tonight with work, I left the house at 5am today and the drive to the hotel took 5 hours! The bloody M1 is such a pain in the arse. No idea why the traffic is always so bad. I do not miss having to drive up and down the motorway for work.

Anyway, I have been very good today. I brought a kit Kat with me to have as a treat for between the meeting and dinner (I know, what a saddo). For lunch I had one fishcake, potatoes, salad and abit of coleslaw. Definitely a few syns in the coleslaw and fishcake but at least I didn’t have chips! Also stayed away from any alcohol at dinner and made some good choices with my meal, So feeling pretty smug!

I need to stay strong tomorrow and keep away from the biscuits, BatDad has promised my favourite tea (chilli beef bake) so I cannot wait for that 😁

The shame…… aka day 7

#diet

#slimmingworld

So I am on day 7 now and as predicted I have fucked it up by letting the eating naughty slip into today. Just had gravy and chips (not done the healthy way, straight out of the chippy!). I was really good until about 3pm yesterday then it went downhill. Then again, after 3 Cosmopolitan’s I doubt anyone makes good decisions!

I do this all the time and struggle most on a weekend, I used to be able to get away with being good during the week and naughty at the weekend but these days it doesn’t work.

I have done a good amount of walking today so hopefully limited some of the damage. Took the Robins to see the lights near us, the littlest Robin walked so slowly it took nearly an hour to walk what should have taken 10 minutes. Plenty of bending down to pick him up, drag him away, swing him round etc.

Took this picture of one of the lights (the other lights are for kids, Disney stuff etc).

Seems abit over the top to me?!

Day 6

So it’s been a couple of days since I posted, it’s a mixture of being busy and having nothing to say!

I weighed myself this morning and I’ve lost 2 and half pound, which I am happy with. Me and BatDad are away for the night tonight so I am having the night off the diet, I just need to get back on it Sunday (which will take alot of will power when there’s a full English on the go).

Food wise the week has been good, avoiding the Friday sausage sarnie was a challenge but I did it, high five me! Last night’s tea was cheesy chips and curry sauce,all Slimming World. Can’t really complain as it was lovely 😀

Today’s plan is lots of little jobs before we escape. Again need to avoid the treats in town, BatDad can eat what he liked and doesn’t gain any weight so it can be frustrating.

Anyway, a feminist ramble for today. Does the term ‘girls in the office’ offensive? I was chatting with one of the managers at work on the subject of diversity (I work in HR for info) and she mentioned that she didn’t like the phrase as she felt it was demeaning (as if girls implies you are inexperienced). Personally it doesn’t offend me, but actually thinking back her explanation of why she finds it offensive probably offends me more. Remembering the song by Madonna, What It Feels Like For A Girl. Actually whether you prefer woman, girl, lady, mate, pet etc is kind of down to you. Personally I worked in a male orientated business when I first started working and being called ‘one of the lads’ was the highest compliment out there. It meant I was an equal to them, which is all feminism is all about to me 🙌

Day 6

So it’s been a couple of days since I posted, it’s a mixture of being busy and having nothing to say!

Today’s plan is lots of little jobs before we escape. Again need to avoid the treats in town, BatDad can eat what he liked and doesn’t gain any weight so it can be frustrating.

Day 2

Today was another good day food wise, although I was starving this morning and could have happily ate a sausage and hash brown sarnie as well as my boring Alpen light bars.

Anyway, it was chicken salad for lunch and then a noodle thing later as I was still waiting away. Tea was left over chilli and now I’m having a 10 syn ice cream as a treat so I’m on track.

As an aside, I read something today that set my feminism senses into overdrive (also I am a feminist and get on my high horse regularly). I read an article on the BBC News site that said apparently Teresa May said She didn’t want a cabinet of ‘Yes Men’. Now I know this is just a phrase people use BUT given the powerful position she is in (in both government and as a role model to women everywhere), I had really hoped she might have chosen her words a little more carefully.

It’s almost like she accepts that her cabinet will generally all be men as if that’s the way it has to be. When really if people like the PM stop striving for gender equality in the ‘top jobs’, then what hope does that leave normal women trying to get to the top of the patriarchal companies?!

I was all in support of the new Margaret Thatcher until this, Now I’m beginning to consider if she really is the strong female leader we need or just a woman in job being driven by the men around her?
*steps down from said horse*

Day 1 …..

So I am currently on my exercise bike, sweating my life away.

So day 1 hasn’t been too bad, I had to facilitate an event for work this morning and managed to steer clear of the free biscuits and ate my own lunch rather than the free lunch that was going. Yey me!

The plan for tea is chilli, when BatDad returns from his run (yes it’s all or nothing in this house). My biggest downfall is night time as i just have no interest in cooking (I love to bake, hence the huge arse) and I love snacking. But I’m hoping once we start the cycle of eating well, we get back into the habit. I managed to palm off my home made fudge from the weekend on my work colleagues so everyone’s a winner.

Beyonce is getting me through, the only woman who can. She looks amazing after just having twins, my two are 5 and 2 year old so I have zero excuse really. Well apart from my lack of millions, a Nanny and a personal trainer 😀